Thursday 15 November 2012

A New Home

Some days I wish I was back in Uganda but I also know being in Canada is a huge privilege. The thing I miss most is having things figured out. In Uganda I had time to think about my desires and values. Life in Canada feels faster paced, I do not have time for thoughtful reflection, I have to keep up. It feels like I'm running but not reaching the destination any faster. At the end of my trip I felt like I had all the answers to life and just had to implement them, but life's priorities got fuzzy once I returned to Canada. It is harder to make decisions, because I have not taken time to think about what I really want; this means rash decisions get made.

On a brighter note, I feel like I am completely adjusted to being back in Canada. I remember being in Uganda thinking I would always be a "Canadian," that I would always fit back into Canadian culture but I found myself being mystified at a lot of Canadian norms once I returned. For example, I could not understand why people would get upset at being late, they would drive their cars fast, cursing as their blood pressure rose. I laughed inside while quietly mentioning to them," You know, your life is pretty great, you're at the top percent of human standards of living, being late is not a problem. Not having enough food or access to medicine is a problem. If we're late, we're late, we'll just catch the next bus/ferry/movie." I would think, "white people are crazy," to which my boyfriend always reminds me, "You know you're white too, right Kirsten?" It has become a bit of a joke, but I think it illustrates just how disconnected I felt from my own country.

Its November now and I've managed to adjust, I still go running in the mornings, just like I did in Uganda, work at a coffee shop that sells fair trade coffee and is completely sustainable and I'm meeting people. This time I'm not attracted to people from small Canadian towns, but the international students and people that have travelled abroad. I'm glad to be back in Canada but I've managed to find an international community  that makes it feel like home.

Just in case you were looking for a good read, I have two recommendations. "Dead Aid," is about how foreign aid is making some countries in Africa dependant and "Paved with Good Intentions," a book about the role of the Canadian government in toppling the democracy and exiling the President of Haiti while Canadian NGOs remained silent in exchange for substantial grant increases.

Thursday 13 September 2012

Colonization

After four months of intense reflection and self analysis in Uganda I realised that knowing my traditional language of Saulteaux is a necessary and missing part of my identity. Knowing the value it would bring to my life I decided to take language classes upon my return to Canada.

Once in Canada the VIDEA program put its interns in touch with educational mentors. My mentor is a Political Science professor at the University of British Columbia known for her grassroots involvement and work ethic. Over a coffee she told me that the best way to secure employment for myself in the International Relations field was to take "coloniser languages" such as French and Spanish instead of traditional First Nations languages. She continued by saying it was unfortunate, but that the educational priority should be coloniser languages before my native tongue. Interestingly it was when I did a short speech on National Aboriginal Day about the importance of connecting with my culture that she approached me and offered to be my mentor.

Friday 27 July 2012

Freedom

While living abroad in a small community like Ktechyme, Uganda it is important to fit in. If you eat, think and say the right things you will be accepted by the community members but if you stray too far outside the social norms it can be an isolating experience. Examples of how to fit in include wearing modest clothing below your knees, living in accordance with God and acting in culturally appropriate ways. Maybe the most common piece of advice I received was to avoid men. With high rates of HIV and AIDS transmission and infidelity many women told me in groups or in private that they did not trust a lot of the men to be faithful. For this reason among and to fit in with societal standards many young women choose to wait to have sex until they are married.

In contrast living in Canada feels a bit like being a kid in a candy store with $30 worth of nickles. You can wear whatever you like: bohemian, punk, business casual, classic, grunge and decorate your body with piercings and tattoos and no one will bat an eye. You can choose to be religious or atheist and often being religious can carry more of a stigma than being nonreligious. You can engage in premarital sex or sex after marriage. You can eat bananas or oatmeal everyday or eat food from different nationalities at every meal, you could never eat the same thing ever again if you wanted. Independence and individual freedom has never been so tasty.

Saturday 14 July 2012

When One Door Closes Another Opens

Just as I am feeling settled in Kamloops it is now time for me to move onto the next chapter of my life.  My family is currently selling our house and holding a giant garage sale. It is so overwhelming to see truckload after truckload of household items being given away. We have collected too many items that we no longer use, it is easy to give things away now that I know what is really important: your family and enough items to fill a suitcase, the rest does not matter.

I will be moving to the University of British Columbia to attend university where I will be majoring in International Relations with a double minor in languages and sustainable development. I am very excited about my upcoming Cree language class. My grandmother used to speak Cree but after Residential school she rarely spoke it around us and the language died with her. In addition to connecting with my traditional language I have also started drumming. I was incredibly humbled to be presented with a drum by Bruce Perisian at the Victoria Friendship Centre on National Aboriginal Day and have been playing ever since. It is amazing how quickly you pick up traditional songs and start incorporating it into your life. I played it recently for the first time in public at my grandmother funeral service as we prayed for her safe travel into the spirit world. I think she would have liked that.

I have Uganda to thank for realizing that a connection to my culture is important to me. Hopefully this is the start of something great.

Tuesday 3 July 2012

I Started an Organization

I wish I had done a video blog for my blog to talk about my experiences but I have finally made one. With the help of my friend Cam we put together a video produced with the beautiful sacred mountain in Kamloops as its backdrop. Please visit

 my website at http://www.medicaltextsafrica.org/


the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va0ocoj96sA&feature=player_embedded

Sunday 1 July 2012

A New Perspective

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
                                                                                                           -Alan Cohen

I knew I had changed as a person in Uganda because every day I learned new things, grew more peaceful and happy and saw things from a new perspective. Lately I am realizing how much I have changed, how some things that I felt were so important when I left Canada have become meaningless, and how other things have dimmed in their importance and I am now making decisions based on my values rather than things I love, or even once felt addicted to. 

It is tempting after a life changing experience to hope you will turn back into the person you were before you left. A combination of sleep deprivation and culture shock confuse you just enough for a few days into thinking you can pick up your old life, your good old life, where you left it. Once that haze wears off though you realize you have changed and that you will never be the old you. That is where the scary part starts, you realize you need to change your life to fit the new you.

The good news is I know myself better than when I left, I know what makes me happy and what I value.

I have chosen to continue this blog, the process of writing is enjoyeable and I am on a new adventure to move to a major city in two weeks where I am starting an International Relations degree and integrating into a new community where I hope to focus on incorporating the lessons I learned in Uganda into my new life. I hope to write about how to live more sustainably, connecting with my first nations culture and my new perspective on Canadian culture.

See you soon,

Kirsten